Thursday, April 23, 2009
I have had many moments of thinking about how I could write about my husband. His qualities are so varied, it has been hard to even think of addressing them. However, he is so important to me and we blog about important things, right?
His sense of humor carries our family. It always has. Sometimes it seems too much and the kids will beg me to ask him to knock it off. We have noticed when he gets too much sleep, he really gets on a roll. But he can make all of us laugh and lighten up when things are heavy and serious. His ability to recall scenes in movies and recount them is amazing! We often say people could save their money and just ask him to recount a movie for them. His baseball/softball skills amaze us. He truly enjoys continuing to play. I was so proud of him a few years ago when he decided he would try baseball again. I know he was so nervous as he approached the field the first time. I was so happy for him after the first game when it was obvious he could still play and play well! It's always fun for me to watch younger guys see the white haired man come out to play, hear them make some put down type jokes and see how fast they shut up and start respecting him.
I couldn't write about him and not zone in on his hair! If you've seen him, you know how beautiful it is! We cannot go anywhere without complete strangers commenting on it. One of my favorite incidents revolves around our trip to Helen, GA in 2003. We were hiking way out in the middle of nowhere to see a certain waterfall and two older women came up the path from the waterfall. They immediately commented on his hair. I told him even in the middle of nowhere...you get compliments on your hair! All of our older female clients over the years had to talk to me about his hair again and again. A new story popped up recently. He was drawing blood on a young lady who was very ill and was in the process of vomiting. In between bouts of vomiting, she looked up at him and commented on how beautiful his hair was!
His hair is a physical characteristic that, unfortunately, probably won't always be with him. But his inward qualities will always be there. He is so kind and gentle. He is a good listener. He is empathetic. He is a peaceful man. He seeks to understand people and what might be motivating certain behaviors. He is forgiving, even at times when those who are in need of forgiveness are not even seeking it.
He is definitely a team player in the home and in our marriage. He loves to cook and prepared the first meal when we moved into the house we reside in. He actually had a big say in designing that kitchen. He makes his children's wedding cakes. He grinds his own wheat and bakes bread. He is very involved in his gardening and planting different things in our yard. He was always equally involved in the care of our children from the very beginning. He has been one of the most engaged, involved fathers I've ever met. Even with working an extra part time job for 20 years, he has always had time for his children. He won't tell you that coaching one son's Little League team was his favorite thing (mainly because of over intense parents) but he will tell you coaching his daughters' softball team was very meaningful to him. His respect for women has strengthened our daughters and has had a tremendous influence on their self-esteem. He has always supported all of us in our endeavors.
He keeps developing and learning new skills. He actually truly does amaze me. We are about to celebrate our 29th year of marriage in May. It has zoomed by! Were all of these qualities there from the beginning of the marriage? No...we both had much to learn, especially with communicating, which is something most young couples have to work on. He did have many insensitive moments in our early marriage. But because we learned to truly talk to each other and talk things out, he developed his listening and empathy skills. He did not know how to work through conflict when we were first married and utilized the silent treatment method which can be just as bad as the blow up method (which I would eventually go to after a couple of days of silent treatment and not getting to the issue). He had a terrible time learning to apologize when he had offended,even when he knew right away he needed to apologize. I am so grateful we learned to talk our issues out..we usually get to quick resolution in a few minutes now whenever there is an issue.It's amazing to me that since we love each other so much, we usually don't have lines drawn around our solution to a problem. We both just automatically brainstorm and come up with solutions that work for both of us. Just knowing what each other is thinking and seeing about a situation can usually clear things up quickly. Being able to be honest with each other knowing there will be no grudges held, is a priceless gift to give to each other.
He loves the Lord. Because he loves Him, the way he treats others is consistent. He is no respecter of persons. He doesn't understand people who behave like different personalities in their various situations. The personal service he has given to many elderly people over the last 20 years of his part time job has awed me. He would see a need and go back, on his own time, to take care of it. He truly believes in serving others.
He was so quiet when I first brought him home to meet my parents and siblings, they didn't know what to think of him. He is loved and respected by them and loves them in return. He didn't pause for a second when we realized we needed to get involved with my grandmother's health crisis and help her get through it. Our home and lives were disrupted for a little bit, but he enjoyed her presence in our home and also received some cooking tips from her! He grieved when she died and also when my stepfather passed away over two years ago. Both of those times were some of the worst moments of my life and he was right there with me through them.
He says he was the lucky one. I know I was the lucky one. I am so grateful I met him when I did. He is a continuing example to me. I love my husband. I am grateful for our marriage and our experiences together. I could literally write a book and I think I almost have.....Vicky