Hi Ho the Evelo's

Educational Choices

2011-08-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

Having been asked by many young mothers recently about homeschooling and reading one friend's recent blog, I just thought I would post a little about homeschooling since our family chose to utilize that educational choice for so many years. First of all, I don't necessarily think homeschooling is for everyone. Sometimes people are shocked by that! There were definitely times I steered certain people away from homeschooling. Overall, I see homeschooling as just another educational alternative that does become a lifestyle and has great benefits for families. It has challenges, requires a certain level of sacrifice for most families and may only be right for some of the time.

Our children all had some time in public school and we loved the elementary school our oldest ones attended through 2nd and 3rd grade. Wonderful staff there still! One of our children seemed to need something more and after two years, with much prayer, we gave home education a whirl for a one year period We enjoyed it so much and saw so much good for our family we continued on.

Homeschooling has become much more acceptable in society than in the early 90's when we started. Our homeschooling pioneers had it rough before it became legalized in FL. Now FL is one of the best states to homeschool in with many options and tremendous support.That did not happen by accident but was painstakingly built up by certain people in the state. I will do more on another blog about that. In fact, I will just try to blog a little bit each time because there is so much good to share about homeschooling. I have found the subject is very interesting even to people who would never consider it for their own families.

I will share my personal mantra in this first blog on the subject. "Every family home-educates to some degree" Vicky Evelo

Chieko Okazaki - BYU Women's Conference

2011-08-06T07:41:00.001-07:00

With the recent passing of Chieko, I came across this talk on another blog and copied it for my own. Chieko spoke and wrote so much that strengthened women. She lives on in her words and legacy.

“Well, my dear sisters, the gospel is the good news that can free us from guilt. We know that Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It’s our faith that he experienced everything- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don’t think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don’t experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means he knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer- how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced Napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.
Let me go further. There is nothing you have experienced as a woman that he does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, he understands the hunger to hold your baby that sustains you through pregnancy. He understands both the physical pain of giving birth and the immense joy. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion. His last recorded words to his disciples were, “And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” (Matthew 28:20) He understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say that the new baby has Down syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He’s been there. He’s been lower than all that. He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief. “

Changing of seasons!

2011-07-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

Life is amazing with all the different stages we hopefully exist long enough to go through! Since the death of my mother in March, I have changed jobs. Changing jobs was not something I wanted to do. I grew to understand that I was there for a season and now this is the season for more changes. I miss my former coworkers and direct patient care. I love my new coworkers and while not doing hands on nursing anymore, really feel that I am helping patients in my new job. So it's all good.

Our youngest son will soon be leaving on a mission and our nest will be empty. At least until he returns home in two years. We anticipate he will live with us for a bit to launch into his transition back to college life. Although he doesn't have to do that. We have always had that standing offer to our children to live at home and save pennies while they're obtaining education.

So my husband and I will have our season, once again, to be in our home, just the two of us. I am so thankful that our friendship has endured these 33 years. I came across this quote by James Dobson the other day that is so appropriate to us. "The relationship between a man and wife is less strained in the mid-life years if they have protected and maintained their friendship since they were newlyweds."

We've been very fortunate to not have too many bad moments over the years. Our worst time came from outside interference. We learned to communicate, communicate and to not give in to the temptation to utilize passive-aggressive behaviors. We are each other's cheerleaders. That's why I will sit in 90+ degree heat and cheer for him at baseball games. That's why he has done all the wonderful things to support me in my personal endeavors over the years. Participating in a healthy marriage is wonderful and beautiful!

A Time For Memories

2011-04-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of sharing our family's memories of my mother, Peggy Sue St.Mary at her funeral service recently. I have decided to post the memories here. Our family, like all families, was not a perfect family. Do those really exist anywhere? We had our share of dysfunctional behaviors and situations. In the pulling together of memories, I realized our family had been a family that kept working through the dysfunctions and conflicts because we all truly loved each other through all of it. We almost lost our mom 42 years ago. That always stayed with us.When her health issues escalated so quickly that we lost her in just days, what we had all feared for years had happened. What buoys me today is that we all pulled together to support her, to love her, to determine together she would be kept comfortable and not suffer anymore than she already had. We were gathered in a prayer around her bed towards the very end. Please understand, we were not a practicing religion type family. That time with Mom at the end of her mortal life was sacred time and we all recognized it. It continued to be sacred time as my older brother,Bob, Lindley and I sat together with my mom's body in the hospital room waiting for the funeral home to pick up her body.

"A time to be born, a time to laugh, a time to dance:

Marlene: 1. Vicky is learning to walk...living room...Daddy and Mom, they had company...they were all having a cocktail,laughing...Bob and I were sitting in a chair together,had been told by Daddy to behave and be quiet..Vicky is wobbling...Mom looks at us and says "show sister how it's done"...Bob and I helped Vicky learn to walk by leading her around a glass topped coffee table. 2.All of us kids in the car..Mom is driving..all the windows are down..it's really hot..Bob is in the front seat crying..Mom looks at him, turns the radio up high and sings "Baby Love" along with the Supremes to him...Bob is laughing..Mom is wearing a yellow A-line dress, scarf around her neck, big sunglasses..she was beautiful. 3. We have been living in Holly Hills (Columbus, Ga)for a short while..not very long into the school year...doorbell rings..Mom answers the door...hair pulled up into a short ponytail...pedal pushers..my new neighborhood friends ask if her little sister Marlene is home...she was the cutest, most popular Mom on the block. 4.Last time I was home..very hot,early evening, Dad's resting, Uncle Ed's gone home, Mike just pulled out of the driveway, Donna just joined Mom and I on the back porch, Mom goes to the kitchen for iced tea, we are all on the back porch listening to the crickets...laughing, drinking iced tea.

"A time to embrace"

Bob: The welcome home I received when I was 11 or 12. We had been at our grandparents for a couple of weeks and Daddy brought me home early. I have never forgotten the welcome I received from Mom and that alone time with her.

"A time to build up"

Vicky: So many memories! What really stands out in my mind is how Mom would welcome people into her home. When we were teenagers the house was filled with other teenagers. A quote from one of my friends, " I was very sad to hear of Peggy's passing. I have very fond memories of playing canasta during the very cold winters at Ft. Wainwright. I also remember how she loved her Coca-Cola in a glass bottle." Another friend was readily welcomed to travel from WA state to AL with us in a motor home the summer I was 16. Our brother in law, Gary, was a lonely Southern boy in Alaska who Mom quickly adopted and brought into our family. Mom always had extra room at her Thanksgiving table. Dixie, Donna's mother in law and Ike, her brother in law became a part of our family too. Mom had a generous and open heart.

Mark: My memories will always be of Thanksgiving. I remember the first Thanksgiving meal with my wife's family. I thought I had died and gone to heaven! There's nothing like good ole Southern cooking. No offense to my mom. I was born in the north; yes I'm a Yankee. For whatever reason, the Southern cooks know how to do it right.

"A time to plant"

Donna: When we were waiting to hear Dad's diagnosis, we dug Mom's flower bed out front. I remember how we worked together and it helped ease both of us and that same flower bed helped at Dad's passing and today at Mom's it is in full bloom.

"He hath made everything beautiful in his time."

Freddy: I enjoyed making Peggy the raised flower bed that she put her herbs in and watched them grow. I also loved her cooking, especially her cooking the Thanksgiving turkey. Going to miss her very much.

"And also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God."

Mike: It's very difficult to come up with just one memory to describe Mom. There are many. I remember how she loved her kids and family. How great a cook she was, how she went without so others didn't. How she worried about us kids, especially me! How she was always there for me no matter what! How she loved her Cokes and cigarettes, black walnut ice cream, Fifth Avenue candy bars. How fiercely loyal and defensive of her kids. How she missed Dad, Ed, Mikey and Murphy after they died and never got over it! May God take her in His arms and ease her pain and suffering.I feel a piece of me has died with her and will miss her until the day I die!

"A time to keep"

Jason: remembers all the puppy chow Mom made for him over the years.

Christy: remembers riding along on the Fuji route with Mom and them singing country songs together.

"A time to love"

Jared: Thanksgivings in AL will always be important and cherished memories for me. Everyone involved would do so much to make them special, but grandma especially. I know it took hours of preparation to get that meal ready every year and will always appreciate the hard work and love that she put into each one of them.

Ashley: I will always remember Grandma and her cheerful attitude. Whether it was Thanksgiving or Christmas time she was always there with a smile greeting me at the back door. Even before I was officially an Evelo she treated me like family. I will always love her and know that I will see her again in the future. Her home was full of warmth and love. Love you Peggy Sue.

"A time to embrace"

Shelley: I have many memories of Grandma;probably one that will always stick with me is her Coca-Cola's. Whenever I see a Coke, I think of Grandma's house. I also will always remember how comfortable I felt at her house, even with living out of town. I always felt welcomed, like I had just seen her the week before. Grandma always made sure to "hug my neck" whenever I arrived and left. Grandma also loved to read, which is a love that was passed down to me. I loved going to visit my "Alabama grandparents" and I will miss Grandma very much, just as I already miss Grandpa, but I look forward to when I get to see them again.

Brad remembers the Thanksgivings Grandma put on also and the welcoming atmosphere.

"A time of peace"

Lindley:1.One time when I was younger-5 or 6- Shelley and I were up staying with Grandma and Grandpa. In the middle of the night I got really homesick and wanted to go home. Grandma comforted me and then took me into the living room and sat on the floor and watched cartoons with me until it got light outside. I didn't get homesick at all the rest of my visit. 2. Grandma made it seem like we were never apart for long when we saw each other, even if it had been awhile. 3. I always loved walking in on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Grandma would be in front of the stove cooking dumplings. She would always put down the spoon and walk over and give me hugs. She was never too busy for hugs.

"A time to keep silence."

Matthew: I'll always remember how good she was at catching brim whenever she went fishing. I'll miss you Grandma!

"A time to die, a time to weep, a time to mourn."

A time to heal, a time to build up (the family will go on) a time to embrace, a time to love".

Community

2011-02-19T12:34:00.001-08:00

I have been pondering the topic of community lately and what it means in my life. I am a small town girl at heart and I believe it is important to have a community around you. The feeling of belonging seems to me to be instinctive in at least most of us. I observe others to see the ways in which their needs for community are being met.

Besides the most common sources for community such as family, church, friends,and neighbors, I realized another source of community that is important to me. As I walked into Mahan Publix and greeted Bob, who has worked there a long time now, I realized Bob and Mahan Publix are a factor in my sense of community. 3 of our 4 children worked there over the years. We know many people who have in the past or are now working there. Bob is a mainstay and is one of my heroes for good examples of handling the aging process and its challenges.

I feel a sense of community with a man I'll call Mr. W who monitors the household area at the county dump. As I drop off my trash, I've struck up a friendship with him and I enjoy chatting with him for a few moments as I'm taking care of that task.

I have felt like the group of people I work with are a community. I draw strength and encouragement from them. I learn from them. I hope they learn from me. We pull together and get through tough situations.

Through our years of homeschooling, I used to refer to that community jokingly as "in the world of homeschooling". Homeschoolers are very diverse in spite of the one thing they share which is homeschooling their children. I sometimes haven't liked some of the interactions that have gone on in homeschooling world as diversities clashed. Usually everyone would work together for the best of the children and resolve clashes or come to some kind of uneasy truce. Occasionally, some homeschoolers would stop speaking to and working with other homeschoolers over differences of opinion. This was and is always sad to me. I feel people who fall into this kind of behavior are basically showing a lack of respect for others and their opinions and need to grow up a little.

I worry that America may be losing its sense of community. People seem so polarized into their different points of view. When I see disruption in a country and people on the streets fighting and killing each other, I pray for America. I pray we will not ever come to such as that. I hope that we can keep having respect for each other even in our differences of opinion. America is still a great place to live in spite of its imperfections.

How do you meet your needs for community? Is it important to you?

Stresses of blogging

2010-11-29T17:11:00.000-08:00

Due to the fact that I don't post or comment often, I have had a recurring stress every time I do! Remembering that darn log in information. At first, this was Matt's blog, so I am still using his sign in info which does not resonate with my memory. Then Shelley updated my blog and attempted to change all that so it would stick with me. She succeeded in at least changing the password. Alas, I did not write it down anywhere. I had to have Matt's technical experience just now to reset the password. I have written it down and hope to have just decreased my stress enough in order to make room in my brain to learn how to use a digital camera and give up the old way. We just picked up 23 rolls of film from the last 3 years and the developing fee was hefty! I have promised myself I will learn the new ways!

How many usernames and passwords can a person remember in one lifetime though?

"Playpretties"

2010-09-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about my grandmothers quite a bit lately. The older I get, the more I become aware of just how much of an influence they had on my development. They were very different women and yet had some common traits. They were both very hard workers, very productive women. One had good health until her 80's, the other died at age 63 with a smile on her face after struggling with her health for a number of years. They both loved their grandchildren and were happy to have their grandchildren with them, even in the middle of earning their livings. I am sure this is one reason I am so willing to enjoy one of my days off every week to keeping our first grandchild.

My grandma Beaty (we called her Mama Beaty) helped her husband run a farm for many many years. Then he went into business, moved them into town and my grandmother was the main force behind that business into her 70's. Whether she was on the farm or at the business, grandchildren were welcome to be with her and come along. She was the accountant for the business, every night after working hard all day long. I am sure many of my frugal ways and bookkeeping tendencies come from helping her to a very small degree with some of that. When I was 5, my grandparents made a trip to MI and brought back a newborn, a 1 year old and me for a bit of time while my mother was recovering from an illness. It was during that time I had my one and only spanking from this grandma. I guess I knew she meant business after that. Yet, I never knew of the spanking until I was well into my 30's when she recounted the situation to me. It obviously didn't traumatize me. I will always remember standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes with her. Many wonderful conversations over the years and so much teaching took place during those times. I do not mind washing dishes to this day.

Mama Beaty had no daughters of her own and so had much fun with her granddaughters. We will always remember her cutting the figures out of the Sears Magazine, mounting them on cardboard and then cutting out the clothes for them. Also constructing dollhouses out of cardboard, furniture, even putting in tiny cloth curtains, etc. Being out in the country and extremely frugal, she created the majority of toys for us. She called them "play pretties". Constructing indoor playhouses out of chairs and blankets, making mudpies outside on the big wooden spools left hanging around from the power companies, teaching us to fish, playing Dominoes, watching her milk the cow in the morning; the memories roll over and over in my mind.She always had books on her shelves. My relationship with Reader's Digest started at her house.

My grandma Spivey (Mama Spivey) wasn't so fortunate to have stability in her life. Abandoned by her first husband when her children were very young, a second marriage later did not make it either. So my times with her had no grandfather on the premises. She made her living in a variety of ways. For a few years, she was given a house to live in which was next door to a bedbound woman. My grandmother tended to her and the housework. The house my grandmother lived in had no indoor facilities (anyone else have vivid memories of outhouses?). She was fortunate to have running water into the kitchen sink. She kept everything neat and clean. I will always remember her hanging clothes out to dry, in more than this one residence too. Sometimes I feel the urge to hang clothes out to dry. My grandmother worked in a restaraunt as a cook for a time. She was also a sitter at the hospital. She would allow me to walk with her a certain distance to the hospital once I was older. This is the grandma who first took me to a library when I was 8 years old.It was across the way from her apartment. She walked me over, told me about the library, but wouldn't come in with me. I wandered in and was wandering around when a librarian spotted me. At first, I thought I was in some sort of trouble, but then the kindest thing happened. Rather than just sitting in the library to read, she helped me obtain a library card and introduced me to NANCY DREW! How I loved and still love Nancy Drew and libraries!According to family legend, I never had a spanking from this grandma at all, even though the other kids did. Although I doubt my younger sister ever had a spanking from either grandmother.

I have bits and pieces in my memory of both grandmothers with scriptures in their hands. I remember neither one being very "preachy" but just loving their families and especially the grandchildren and doing their best to be productive every day until the end of their lives. Making your bed every day, clearing the table, helping with the dishes or helping hang out laundry, sweeping the floors, dusting, etc. were things grandchildren helped with in both households.

I am so thankful for the influence of these women in my life. They directed me to the values of hard work, serving, frugality, reading, taking some time for leisure and most of all, loving your family! The memories are my "playpretties" now.

pics related to previous post

2010-09-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

Raelee going home from the hospital
Sweethearts
Wedding accomplished

Matthew's highschool graduation

Adjusting to transitions

2010-09-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

Our last posts were in 2009 and here we are in September 2010! When I look back over the past year, I am amazed at all the changes we have weathered! A wonderful granddaughter entering the family, a new son in law and launching that little family including their wedding!,our youngest son graduating from high school and our oldest son graduating with his degree in accounting (there really wasn't any work on our parts for this last one - just joy!) and my opportunity to start working day shifts in April with one catch! I needed to go ahead and activate to full time! I was also determined to finish out my commitment to a volunteer public service position I was in - which ended up extending to July.

As I reflect on all of this, I am so grateful! These were all happy events! Even happy events can bring along their share of emotional and sometimes physical stress though and acknowledging that is always wise (in my opinion).

Watching our first grandchild come into the world will always be a treasured memory for Mark and I! Watching Shelley go through all of that was hard though. As her mom, it was difficult for me since all I know from being a nurse was in my head too.

Much hard work for Lindley and Michael's wedding along with worry for Lindley since she was so sick starting in the middle of the night before. It turned out beautifully though! We are so grateful for family and friends who gave of themselves to help us!

I am happy to have finished the mother hen part of homeschooling. Now we can look forward to just sharing things we've learned with each other and enjoying that! I am so happy when I realize that all our children love to read! That was a major goal for us.

Working dayshift is much better for my body! It's very busy (but fulfilling) work for 12 hours, but being able to sleep at night is a privilege I do not take for granted! We are still juggling responsibilites on the homefront, but Mark has always been great in this area. I hope our two sons will be that good to their wives!

Our family has been very blessed during this time of transitioning. I believe in a God who answers our prayers, even though they might not be answered in the way we wished. We not only have had prayers answered, we have also learned some lessons and made progress in some areas. Life is to be treasured and not taken for granted. I am reminded of this every day when I go to work. We can not reverse time; we can only go forward. I encourage everyone to make the most of it!

My Foot

2009-12-08T17:55:00.000-08:00

Hey this is Matt here!
We went back for xrays today (almost 2 weeks since my injury happened) and it turns out I have a fracture! It's going to take 10-12 weeks to heal and I have this big boot to help me walk.

Let me back up...I got the hurt ankle playing football Thanksgiving morning. Well technically, I was playing in the "Turkey Bowl"! Brad and his group of friends always plays tackle football Thanksgiving morning and I decided I would join them.

My mom and sister both told Brad to make sure I didn't get hurt. So since he was QuarterBack, he would NEVER pass me the ball! Finally everybody convinced him to and I caught the pass! I ran it for about 10 yards when a guy jumped on my back. Not wanting to get creamed by Blake Anderson or Dusty Brock, I decided to just go down. When I went down my ankle went up. POP goes the ankle. When we got xrays the next day they didn't see the fracture because it was so swollen, but they did today! It hurts to walk even with the boot, so I won't be at work for awhile.

Needless to say, I am 99.9999% sure I won't EVER be going to the Turkey Bowl again!!!

Hoping for a fast recovery,
Matt E.

Working "on the night shift"

2009-12-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

The above picture is a stained glass rooster that lights up. My sister passed it on to me. I absolutely love it and enjoy it late at night or early in the morning (when I am here in my own home at those times!).

I had intended to blog long before now. It's not a wise thing to decide what you're going to blog about next time because I have discovered it caused a little writer's block!

I wanted to blog regarding resuming direct patient care in nursing. I feel a lack of words to describe the whole experience. I started in July, have finished up all the training and made it past the 3 month orientation time. I was very high anxiety looking at what jobs were available and then going through interviews. Many of my fears and anxieties seem silly, in hindsight. In reality, at the time, they were more legitimate. Some of the things that I hadn't done in nursing for a long time...certain skills...were worrisome. I have found not much has really changed as far as those skills and much of it is truly like riding a bicycle again.

I had a sweet friend who treated me to lunch who had recently gone back into nursing herself after 20 years of being completely away and not much real time experience under her belt before she stayed home to be with her babies. She had been back for about 6 months at the time I had lunch with her. She was so reassuring and comforting to me! She was even working night shifts, which helped me to accept my current position. She was surviving, so I figured I could too! She was better than a therapist! If you see this,my friend, thank you so very much!

I am truly happy to be doing this kind of job again. When I clock out, I know I have made a difference in the patients' lives, even if it was a hard shift or a rough night to stay alert. I give the kind of care I expect for myself or my family.

I have noticed it is much easier to work when not having to worry about babies and small children! I only had a couple of years to enjoy that before our first child was born and I remember those feelings of anxiety about being away from the baby. My husband was wonderful in caring for our children when they were small as I worked at the hospital...we worked opposite shifts in order to minimize daycare,etc. I know many young mothers who are working nights like this now. With the advent of 12 hr. shifts, they can be home 4 nights a week and only work 3 nights a week.

The night shifts have been hard on my body and I have picked up every bug that goes around. I am hoping to be scheduled for some day shifts soon and feel that will make a difference. I am grateful to be able to be prn for now, which means I can control my schedule better, but have no benefits, including paid time off. If I don't work, I don't get paid. For this year, that's good. Our first grandbaby will be born in the next couple of weeks and I will have the pleasure of caring for her one day a week. We have another wedding coming up in March and a graduation from high school in May. These are all major life events, so balancing my schedule is of vital importance this year!

I am so grateful I had my education to be an RN out of the way before marriage! It kept my options open during my motherhood years and made it so much easier to transition. I encourage the young women growing up today to obtain your educations! You never know what twists and turns life will take and you want to make sure you will be in a position to support yourself and children, if need be.

I love the field of nursing because there are so many branches to explore. It can be hard, inconvenient work. There will be times you work when you want to be with everyone else in your family who might be enjoying a holiday without you. But it is never boring! Every shift is different, you meet so many different types of people and have so many different type of experiences with them! In addition to that, you get to mix it up with so many different types of coworkers and yet, still pull together to be a team.

I feel very blessed, even if I am working " on the night shift" for now! V.Evelo RN

Changes

2009-09-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

Life has been full of changes for our family since Feb. I attribute it all to subscribing to Direct TV in Feb. Since then, it's been one change after the other! For years, having cable out here where we reside was not even an option. Then it became an option, but we held the line. Kids needed to be reading and studying, not wasting time on television! This past Feb. we finally decided that Discover, History, and all those other channels would be good for the last kid's education, who was very much missing all the action of siblings who had flown the nest. That was the beginning of changes. First of all , the older kids were absolutely incredulous that we were finally doing this. Then, our supplementary job ended....a week or so after we subscribed to that Direct TV thing! We decided I would go back to direct patient care with my nursing degree a year early. We had previously decided we would wait till last kid was done with his high school courses. Since he still needed supervision, plus company, we agreed June would be my month to start looking and go back. By July 6, I was in orientation at a new job.

That was a big change for all of us. No one could just get me at the drop of a hat anymore on the phone. Sometimes, they had to wait for hours now to speak to me. I was very fatigued and on knowledge overload for a month, so I wasn't as much fun to speak to as I had been. After my first 12 hour day shift on orientation, I came in the door and literally said to my family,"Don't anyone speak to me. I have no energy left."! Then the change of switching to night shift started in July. Thank goodness it is only 2 shifts a week, because my body is still wondering about this change and what I am doing to it.

Then, we needed to get a car for the youngest kid to drive to community college classes, in addition to seminary. But the car died that had been faithful to two daughters through nursing school. So now, we needed two new vehicles. After driving very old Toyota vans around for 21 years (not the same ones, just old ones replacing older ones), we went for two old, but new to us, Honda CRV's. Our time was running out to get everyone situated with a vehicle, so these were actually both bought in one day! All four kids were astounded! I think they thought we were losing it at about this point. Two younger kids inherited current old Toyota vans.

In December, our first grandchild will be born! I am trying to keep a schedule that will allow me to keep her one day a week for her parents. In March, our third child will be getting married! A few months later, our last child will be graduating from high school. This will definitely be a couple of very eventful years in the life of our family!

Another time, I will blog about going back into my nursing career after being with my kids for so many years. I am still pinching myself. I am thrilled to be back involved with direct patient care again. I always liked my nursing career, but wanted to be with my kids while they were growing and learning more. I do not regret doing it this way. Staging was a good thing for our whole family.

But I think Direct TV should come with an advisory warning: Subscribing to this service may set off a series of serious changes in your life!

Flowers Cheer the Heart

2009-06-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some of the flowers from our yard on my blog. I look forward to our yard blooming every year...especially our hibiscus trees which have their own story. We have not been successful in keeping hibiscus trees alive from one spring to the next. Yet, I love to drive up in my driveway and see these trees blooming right in front of our house. I just feel happy when I see everything blooming,but especially the hibiscus trees. So, every year, my husband patiently buys two more for my birthday (it's a good thing I'm a May birthday!) and plants them again. We are grateful for our large yard that we've been able to plant such a variety of plants in. One of my biggest regrets is that we did not buy pecan trees when we bought our land in 1986 and plant them then. We would have been harvesting pecans for many years now. Our money was always so tight that we just didn't budget those pecan trees in. Well, they are planted now, so in a few years, in time for grandchildren to help pick them up, we will harvest pecans.I am anxiously waiting for my first tomato sandwich, cannot wait for the blackberries and raspberries and all the other treats we are hopeful will come forth. Some of those we have to wait a year or two on. With some fruit plants, you have to pick the blooms off the first year. We are learning as we go.

My Hubby

2009-04-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

I have had many moments of thinking about how I could write about my husband. His qualities are so varied, it has been hard to even think of addressing them. However, he is so important to me and we blog about important things, right?

His sense of humor carries our family. It always has. Sometimes it seems too much and the kids will beg me to ask him to knock it off. We have noticed when he gets too much sleep, he really gets on a roll. But he can make all of us laugh and lighten up when things are heavy and serious. His ability to recall scenes in movies and recount them is amazing! We often say people could save their money and just ask him to recount a movie for them. His baseball/softball skills amaze us. He truly enjoys continuing to play. I was so proud of him a few years ago when he decided he would try baseball again. I know he was so nervous as he approached the field the first time. I was so happy for him after the first game when it was obvious he could still play and play well! It's always fun for me to watch younger guys see the white haired man come out to play, hear them make some put down type jokes and see how fast they shut up and start respecting him.

I couldn't write about him and not zone in on his hair! If you've seen him, you know how beautiful it is! We cannot go anywhere without complete strangers commenting on it. One of my favorite incidents revolves around our trip to Helen, GA in 2003. We were hiking way out in the middle of nowhere to see a certain waterfall and two older women came up the path from the waterfall. They immediately commented on his hair. I told him even in the middle of nowhere...you get compliments on your hair! All of our older female clients over the years had to talk to me about his hair again and again. A new story popped up recently. He was drawing blood on a young lady who was very ill and was in the process of vomiting. In between bouts of vomiting, she looked up at him and commented on how beautiful his hair was!

His hair is a physical characteristic that, unfortunately, probably won't always be with him. But his inward qualities will always be there. He is so kind and gentle. He is a good listener. He is empathetic. He is a peaceful man. He seeks to understand people and what might be motivating certain behaviors. He is forgiving, even at times when those who are in need of forgiveness are not even seeking it.

He is definitely a team player in the home and in our marriage. He loves to cook and prepared the first meal when we moved into the house we reside in. He actually had a big say in designing that kitchen. He makes his children's wedding cakes. He grinds his own wheat and bakes bread. He is very involved in his gardening and planting different things in our yard. He was always equally involved in the care of our children from the very beginning. He has been one of the most engaged, involved fathers I've ever met. Even with working an extra part time job for 20 years, he has always had time for his children. He won't tell you that coaching one son's Little League team was his favorite thing (mainly because of over intense parents) but he will tell you coaching his daughters' softball team was very meaningful to him. His respect for women has strengthened our daughters and has had a tremendous influence on their self-esteem. He has always supported all of us in our endeavors.

He keeps developing and learning new skills. He actually truly does amaze me. We are about to celebrate our 29th year of marriage in May. It has zoomed by! Were all of these qualities there from the beginning of the marriage? No...we both had much to learn, especially with communicating, which is something most young couples have to work on. He did have many insensitive moments in our early marriage. But because we learned to truly talk to each other and talk things out, he developed his listening and empathy skills. He did not know how to work through conflict when we were first married and utilized the silent treatment method which can be just as bad as the blow up method (which I would eventually go to after a couple of days of silent treatment and not getting to the issue). He had a terrible time learning to apologize when he had offended,even when he knew right away he needed to apologize. I am so grateful we learned to talk our issues out..we usually get to quick resolution in a few minutes now whenever there is an issue.It's amazing to me that since we love each other so much, we usually don't have lines drawn around our solution to a problem. We both just automatically brainstorm and come up with solutions that work for both of us. Just knowing what each other is thinking and seeing about a situation can usually clear things up quickly. Being able to be honest with each other knowing there will be no grudges held, is a priceless gift to give to each other.

He loves the Lord. Because he loves Him, the way he treats others is consistent. He is no respecter of persons. He doesn't understand people who behave like different personalities in their various situations. The personal service he has given to many elderly people over the last 20 years of his part time job has awed me. He would see a need and go back, on his own time, to take care of it. He truly believes in serving others.

He was so quiet when I first brought him home to meet my parents and siblings, they didn't know what to think of him. He is loved and respected by them and loves them in return. He didn't pause for a second when we realized we needed to get involved with my grandmother's health crisis and help her get through it. Our home and lives were disrupted for a little bit, but he enjoyed her presence in our home and also received some cooking tips from her! He grieved when she died and also when my stepfather passed away over two years ago. Both of those times were some of the worst moments of my life and he was right there with me through them.

He says he was the lucky one. I know I was the lucky one. I am so grateful I met him when I did. He is a continuing example to me. I love my husband. I am grateful for our marriage and our experiences together. I could literally write a book and I think I almost have.....Vicky

Loving, Helping Family Members

2009-02-27T05:25:00.000-08:00

I am in the process of finding a new job. My part time work in the home respiratory sector (oxygen patients) has come to an end after 20 years of it. We were hoping to stretch it out for another 6 months to a year,but Congress passed new legislation regarding Medicare reimbursement for oxygen patients a couple of years ago and the financial impact has just hit the companies last month. All of the oxygen companies are now scrambling, trying to find ways to stay in the business and still make a profit. Since I am an RN, I am in a good position to find new employment. I just need to find a good fit since we are still home-educating our last child. In the process of going out to apply for positions this morning, I needed to update my resume, which brings me to the point of this particular blog.

As I was drifting off to sleep, I tried to remember how my resume looked and just how much editing I would need to do, since the last time I used it was to apply for a Dept. of Education job (long story) which was not in my regular field. I woke up a little anxious this morning. Did I mention resumes are not my strong skill? My skills are with ill people. I found the resume file quickly and remembered the whole scenario two and a half years ago, as our youngest son became my hero. Someone really wanted me in the DOE position and was moving fast. I had to file a resume online pronto. I had not done a resume since nursing school in 1980. Panic attack. My son, who had just finished a virtual business course, jumped in and saved the day. As I reviewed the resume this morning, I was struck again by what an excellent job he had done on it. A couple of edits and my resume is ready to go!

My mind wandered to how many times my children have helped me. We typically think of how much parents do for their children over the years, but I have been helped so much by my children in our reciprocal relationships over the years. I cannot begin to list them all, but I can give a few examples.

After my neck surgery in 2003, which was very traumatic, I had a hard time coming out of anesthesia. I had problems breathing normally. I would go in and out of awareness. One thing I carry a clear memory of is our daughter Lindley who was 15 then. She had been volunteering at the hospital during the previous year and I had not even realized what skills she had gained. She glued herself to my bedside during that awful period of time and took care of me as well as any experienced nurse could have. She already knew at that time she was going to be a nurse in her future. I will always be grateful as she patiently fed me ice chips time and again and just had herself available to me.

Our daughter Shelley is an "old soul". When she had just a little age on her, she was already playing second mother to the rest of the kids. Since I am not creative even one little bit, she saved me every Halloween with taking over the Halloween costumes. In fact, any time creativity has been called for, I call on Shelley for help automatically. She's that good. She had always kept an extra watch over her siblings. She was watching over the younger two's Facebook and MySpace accounts the minute they had them. And she has taken on the task of updating my look!Since I am not always willing to be updated, she has had great patience with me. How many other women have a personal shopper without paying for it?

Our son, Jared, also played a role in watching out for younger siblings. However, I think Jared's greatest contribution to my life is intellectually stimulating my mind! We do not agree on many topics, but he makes me stretch myself to really think about issues and topics. When he was 17, we were driving along and he made the pronouncement that the American Revolution should really never have happened. He believed it was just wrong. I was about to drop him off at TCC and I almost wrecked the car! Well, after my pondering, I realized he had been raised to obey the laws of the land, so applying that to the early American revolutionaries had helped him to come to that conclusion. The Jared 9 years later is a very patriotic American and is deeply concerned about his country,which has led to many many discussions and comparing of thoughts.

All of our children have been totally supportive with every endeavor or project I have undertaken as has my husband. Years ago, the whole group of them did many a nursery, set up and clean up as I and other ladies carried out activities for our women's organization at church, the Relief Society. They were always there to help with all of it.

I am not going to go into my husband's help and support right now, since that is worthy of a whole blog (actually a book!) by itself. Needless to say, he has set the example to our children of a supportive spouse and partner.

Our children are some of my heroes in life. Their dad and I have sacrificed much over the years to raise them and don't regret a minute of it. However, they have surely blessed our lives just as much. We have had so much joy due to them. As the older two have selected spouses and the third one has selected her future spouse, the family has been strengthened and enhanced.Everything is not always perfect. We have to practice patience and long-suffering with each other at times, just as every family. We are blessed to be able to communicate with each other, even when it's painful, and get over it. That is a tremendous blessing in our family. The family setting really is like a laboratory and we do practice on each other. If you have blow-ups, you clean up, analyze what happened, forgive, and go on. So a big thank you to our children! You are each so important and vital in our family setting!

Fish Galore!

2009-02-14T16:33:00.000-08:00

On Thursday my dad was off of work, so we decided to go fishing. We left around 11am and just explored for some good spots (We never found any). Then we decided to go to St. Marks Lighthouse, and fish at some of the bodies of water there. So as we were fishing, I got lucky (actually it was all skill) and caught an 8 pound 1 1/2 foot long Large-Mouth Bass!!!!
All my dad caught was a 6 inch brim.

It was a fun trip overall, because usually only my dad catches ANYTHING! And I never catch anything, but this time I caught the biggest fish I ever have. Below are some pictures if you wish to see it. Please comment!!!!!

Until next time...
-Matt

"Holding a Family Together"

2009-01-29T05:39:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking over the years of our family life, which seem to have zoomed by. As I was pondering one night, I realized there were some quotes that I referred to frequently over the years to inspire,uplift and motivate me. In the hopes this may be helpful to someone else, I decided to share.

The quote with the title,"Holding a Family Together" by Spencer W. Kimball was used in a talk in 1999. It came into my life in the year 2000. There had been great intensity in our home for a year or so. It was quite a time for our family. It struck me with such great force and I had periods of time I would refer to it daily.

"It is an act of greatness and heroism to hold a family together, to set before them an example, to teach them in ways of truth, to live a life of consistency, to provide necessities, to nurse and serve in sickness, to wash, to cook, to clean, to make, to mend, to counsel, to love, to understand, to pray,to be patient, and to do the thousand other things that it takes to rear a family, to make a house a home - and to do it every day, sometimes without seeming gratitude - and to lead a family righteously unto eternal life."

This quote strengthens me again and again in all of the different situations and twists and turns our family life takes.

Another one that I have to paraphrase and I still haven't located it again to give credit to the author, "That which you love you sacrifice for and that which you sacrifice for, you love." I think this is profound and it bears out in real life. Serving others brings you to a higher level of love for them.

My last quote I memorized and began quoting to myself as a teenager, "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me" (Phillipians 4:13) There have been many days and times I did not feel I could accomplish certain things, but as I pray for help, I have been helped, again and again.

Our family is such a blessing to me. As a nurse before the days of Hospice, I took care of many dying patients in the hospital. It always struck me that jobs, houses, social status, etc. were not on their minds as they were dying. It was always their families. I saw many patients hang on with their last reserves until a certain family member could get there to say goodbye.

I do not feel as our kids are leaving the nest that our duties to our family will be done. I believe extended family members have an obligation and duty to be there to help the families hold together. Not to enable or encourage younger families to be weak or dependent, but to encourage and strengthen where need be. There will need to be good communication so that expectations match up and resentments not brew. I look forward to the growth of our family in the years ahead.

Aunt Bee or Alice! Where are you?

2009-01-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

I have decided I need to find one of them for our household. For those of you who are not immediately picking up on this due to being younger than me, Aunt Bee is a character on the "Andy Griffith" show of Mayberry. She was Andy's aunt. He is a widower with a young son, Opie. Alice is the live-in housekeeper for "The Brady Bunch". These women are not so noticeable on these shows and quite taken for granted. However, the older I get, the more I appreciate the role these women played in their fictional TV family lives. Everyone else runs in and out of the house, having adventures and dramas while these two steady eddies keep the houses running like a dream, plus take care of the myriad details for their loved ones. I really need one of these women here to help us! In 1998, my grandmother came to stay with us for 3 months in order to have a serious surgery and be supported by our family through it. After she was over the initial shock of the surgery and still facing her intense physical therapy, she was physically in our home most of the time. There was no energy for shopping or sight seeing. So she utilized observing our lives as a distraction. She was shocked by my calendar and all the entries on it and all the running here and there. Now, I had reduced my calendar during this time in order to be available to take her to PT 3 times a week. I did not work my part time job during this 3 months, thanks to my hero husband for taking my workload on. She observed to me she had a new appreciation for my life since it was totally different from hers when she was raising her kids. She told me she did not know how I did it. I had always managed to take the kids and make the 4 hour trip to visit her every couple of months, but before her stay with us, she would let me know in subtle ways she wished she could see us more often. After her return to home, she was just grateful we were able to make it that frequently to see her. In a couple of years, I will be finished raising our children (and finished with the whole homeschooling thing!) and look forward to returning to my profession fulltime. Yet, I also feel trepidation. How will the household run at that time? What I do here is valuable to our family, even the ones who come in and out for Sunday dinner or a visit during the week. I am just so available to all of them. This past Monday, I spent the whole day on the phone trying to make 3 (count them! only 3) Dr. appointments for my husband and I. It turns into an all day thing to make appointments now. I can never watch a rerun of those two shows now without focusing more on Aunt Bee or Alice than on the main characters.Their presence makes the lives of everyone else easier. Lest anyone think my husband is a deadbeat around the house, he is the reason I was able to do all my grandmother observed. We have always helped each other since the beginning of our marriage. I guess together we make an Aunt Bee or Alice and I will have to rely on that when I merge back into the busy highway of fulltime nursing!

Christmas is over....kind of.

2008-12-26T08:14:00.000-08:00

So we did our family Christmas on Christmas Eve, and then went up to Alabama yesterday. On Christmas Eve I got everything I knew I was getting, and got a few surprises. I got a new set of scriptures...I got all excited and thought it was a book I had wanted for awhile...so I rip into the package...only to find a quad. Oh well, it is a book I want too :)

In Alabama I got mainly cash...then when we played Dirty Santa I got a wallet after stealing it back multiple times. I had wanted a different wallet, but we made a rule that after an item was stolen 3 times it couldn't be stolen anymore. So I stole the wallet I wanted, and somebody else stole it for the 3rd time so I didn't get it. But I stole a different wallet a 3rd time that was a little nicer, so I was happy.

We still have one more Christmas day on January 1st when my aunt and uncle get home from their trip, and we do christmas at my Grandparents. I can't wait for that one because I am getting more that I wanted :D

Anyway, overall it was a good christmas. I am about to leave to get some last minute christmas shopping done for a few people at church, so I will post more later!!!!

-Matt E.-

Follow up on Santa's origins

2008-12-23T11:01:00.000-08:00

I have come across this on The Times and Seasons Blog. It's under "Get thee hence, Santa". I have copy and pasted because I think it is very interesting.More detail than I had heard before.

"Yes, my child, it is very likely that he is real, but people have changed him a lot over time. You see, ‘Santa’ really means saint and ‘Claus’ is actually the nickname for Nicholas. The real Santa Claus was actually the bishop of a small city called Myrna which was in the country we now call Turkey. Nicholas was a very kind, caring and loving bishop for all of the members in his ‘ward’ or church. He was born to a very wealthy family and when his parents died he became a rich man. Nicholas had a very strong testimony of the Saviour and truly believed in Jesus’ teaching that, “Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, you have done it unto ME.” So when ever he saw a person or a family in need in his church he took some of his money and secretly gave it to them. One simple way he did this was to put the coins, usually gold or silver, in a small bag with a tie string. He then waiting until the family was asleep and then toss the money through their window. Once, it is said, the bag of coins landed in a sock that was drying out after being washed and this is thought to be how the custom began to hang stockings at Christmas. Throughout his whole life Nicholas continued to give his money away anonymously (secretly) to all that he knew needed it. When he died his fortune was gone but the fame of his kindness and generosity became a legend. It was in the 1800’s when artists began to draw Saint Nicholas without his religious robes and started to show him in a fur trimmed suit. It was the Dutch who called him in their language “Sinta Klaus” and the English who changed this to “Santa Claus”. Saint Nicholas was living the Gospel to the best of his understanding by sharing his wealth with the poor, just as the Saviour gave us all of His wealth, the gift of forgiveness after sincere repentance and the gift of eternal life with Him and our Father in heaven. So when you see the jolly fat man with the long white beard and the red suit, remember that fellow is a bit of a fantasy cartoon character but Saint Nicholas was a real bishop who lived a long time ago and who loved his ‘ward’ members very, very much."

Comment by Velikiye Kniaz — 12/22/2008 @ 10:54 pm

Christmas Recommendations

2008-12-23T08:01:00.000-08:00

The nest is still full with Shelley and Brad with us for a little bit more. We are all trying to be on our best behavior! It has truly been fun to have them here with us. Sunday night was especially fun as Jared and Ashley were also here for dinner and then everyone played a new game Brad brought, "Sliders". At first glance it didn't look like it was going to be very fun, but it turned out to be a hit! Now Michael has bought one for his family too. So we definitely recommend it.

A friend lent us the very short read, "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" by Barbara Robinson. Even if you don't like to read, honestly, this is a short easy book to digest and very significant at this time of year.

I hope to get Matt to post a picture of our Santa Claus find this year. We were visiting the county dump and someone had discarded him. The man who oversees this area did not want to throw him away. He is one of the larger animated ones. His animation days are over and his left shoulder had obviously been visited by a hungry dog or rat...his poor foam insides were showing through. I just can't help loving Santa Claus and didn't want to see him thrown away either. A sudden thought popped into my mind that he just needed a good old toy bag...we dragged him home and my old laundry bag from college days fit the bill! We are happy to give this Santa Claus one more year of jolly display on our front porch. Unfortunately, his shoulder issue has become much worse each time the toy bag is knocked off, once by the neighbor dog who must have felt he was a threat to eating our cat food and I even caught one of our cats knocking it off!

To expound on Santa...I know there are those who think the whole Santa myth is terrible. My thought is, he is a good guy who wants to encourage others to do good. He exemplifies good traits and wants to just give gifts to everyone without thought of reward to himself. He wants everyone to be good so that they can be blessed. As I said in an earlier post, Santa was an example of Christ to me before I learned about Him. We kept the Santa myth to a minimum with our own children. They could only ask Santa for one thing every year...everything else came from Mom and Dad. They could not ask Santa for elaborate gifts, since there were so many children all over the world and that would be greedy. It all worked fine, although I did get weird looks from the Santas over the years as my kids only asked for one minimal thing and even when Santa prompted them to ask for more, they stuck to their one request. Anyhow, this is just my own opinion and I understand the friends who felt strongly that the Santa myth was lying to their children. Our kids have never held the fable against me. Shelley says she still believes!

Christmas time is near!

2008-12-23T07:38:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for tomorrow! We are doing our Christmas tomorrow since we will be going to Alabama Christmas day...so I can't wait for tomorrow night when we open presents!
I know I am getting an archery target...a turkey poster for the target...and 4 more arrows for Christmas from my mom and dad (I didn't mean to see them in the closet)!

Then I have more from my soon to be brother-in-law and brother in law, and sister in law...and brother...sister...sister...whew.

So anyway...I hope you all have a good Christmas!

-Matt

Lindley's Big News

2008-12-17T07:01:00.000-08:00

I know that Matt already announced it,but wanted to give special focus to Lindley's engagement. She and Michael have dated a year now and we've really come to respect and love him for the many fine qualities he possesses. His parents have done a great job raising him. He will make a great contribution to our family, as our other two inlaw children have done. Bradly Wonsch,married to Shelley, and Ashley Snipes Evelo, married to Jared, have only enriched our family. We consider them as our children too and we welcome Michael with open arms. We always wished for more children and we see that wish coming true many years later.

Tis The Season To Be Jolly

2008-12-17T06:42:00.000-08:00

I have successfully navigated signing in, utilizing the username and password Matthew has come up with. I am sure I will never remember them and will have to refer to my written down copy every time I blog now.

In the middle of many negative items in the news on an every day basis, I decided to put up our Christmas decorations early and begin celebrating the birth of Christ sooner rather than later. So the tree was up right before Thanksgiving and only one family member had a complaint about it. I've discovered I like having it all done earlier, as I have really enjoyed this Christmas season more on a daily basis. I love it when our house is decorated for Christmas. We have several nativity scenes and many Santa Claus figures. Santa Claus was a symbol of Christ to me as a young child. I was given a good-sized stuffed Santa for my 5th Christmas and vividly remember taking him to school for show and tell. As we were a military family that frequently moved and I slept with my Santa for many years, he is my surviving childhood toy. He sits under our tree every Christmas. Family members began giving me Santa Claus figures many years ago, so now I have quite a collection that our four kids can divvy up down the road. They all have their favorites.

We have had an extra bonus for this Christmas season, as Shelley and Brad are temporarily staying with us while work is being done on their house that recently flooded due to an appliance. It has been nice to have them around and there has only been one tense moment between our two girls that we could all have done without.

Life is busy, but good. Between employment, continuing Matt's home education program, service opportunities, and being with family and friends, there is not much slack time. That is okay. We enjoy what we do in our lives. We are grateful to be so richly blessed.

Lindley got engaged!!!

2008-12-16T14:41:00.000-08:00

Lindley got engaged this past Sunday to Michael Frederickson! It has been a long time coming, but he finally proposed!!! Congrats Lindley.

More to come...

-Matt E.

The Evelo Family Blog is created again!

2008-12-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

Yet again we are trying to make this blog. This time I won't be the only person blogging! I would like to introduce...MY MOM! She has decided to start blogging on here since both of my sisters have :)

GO MOM!

More to come..